U.S. Santa Supremacy

Santa has had to deal with something new this year: Lobbyists
A common phenomenon in governments around the world, Santa would have to have been foolish to believe that they would never make it to Shanghai (see previous post).
Of course, kids have been lobbying to get on the nice list and add to their Christmas day loot, but as always, actions speak louder than words. When Santa gets letters from little kids, it can be informative, but the entertainment value is much higher.
The kind of lobbyists Santa has encountered lately is government officials from around the world. In the continual struggle for power and dominance, countries have at last resorted to proving supremacy by proving the accuracy of their version of Santa Clause. Some countries are upset at the shift to Christmas as an international issue because they just can't compete. For example, the netherlands has a Santa that lives in Spain most of the year, has 6 to 8 black men to help him (they used to be slaves, now they're just "good friends") and he beats kids if they're bad. David Sedaris effectively proves this theory wrong by pointing out that Santa doesn't know Spanish. Sorry Netherlands, you're out. (for more on the netherlands' santa clause see "6-8 black men" on youtube.)
I'm proud to live in the U.S where Santa Clause flies in a sleigh all over the world in a night and lives with Elves in the North Pole. Call me ethno-centric, but how could you think anything else? Our Lobbyists to Shanghai have it easy.