Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Life is the funniest thing in the world

I realized yesterday that the reason I've been lacking on posts was because I've been lacking on things that I have a lot to say about. I figure that in order to write something interesting, you have to have a strong opinion about it. I just haven't had time to have strong opinions about trivial things for my blog. I have, however, had some funny stories, thoughts and experiences brought to me by life, so I thought I'd share a couple of those.

Automatic Hand Dryers. The other day I stopped at a gas station to fill up my car, and I had to go to the bathroom. So, I went and took care of that. I was washing my hands afterwards, and went to get a paper towel out of the paper towel dispenser. I read, like an intelligent person, that it was motion activated; So, I waved my hand in front of it. Nothing happened. I did it again. Again, nothing happened. I started waving both hands around every side of the thing and at every angle/distance in order to illicit a response from the thing, but alas, it was broken. Thankfully it was in a private setting, but what an easy way to make yourself look like a fool-waving your hands around a box that might as well be laughing at you.
Baby Pictures. No, I don't have a baby, but my supervisor does. My supervisor Nathan was telling me about his little girl going in to get pictures taken. She, Isabel (one or two years old), started crying the minute they walked in, and she absolutely would not cooperate. They ended up with two pictures that they could deal with. After 40-60 minutes of stress and crying and tantrums, they started walking out the door. All of a sudden, Isabel stopped crying, perked up and, with a smile waved to the people in the studio and happily said, "Bye!" Nathan's wife said that made her more mad than the whole 40-60 minutes of crying.
My brain. I understand that this could go a number of different ways, but let me explain what I'm talking about. I went boating with some friends and hurt my thumb while tubing. I thought I just jammed it, but thought it could be broken too. I was just going to wait and see. A week later I was sitting in Gandolfo's eating some dinner before filming a show and my thumb got a weird feeling inside it like something was out of place. That was all it took. The blood drained from my head, I blacked out and started sweating a lot. Because I didn't know what else to do, I laid my head on the table and called my Mom. She answered and had a hard time understanding me, but told me to go to the instacare to get it taken care of. When I felt like I could stand up, I went and got it looked at. It wasn't broken. Earlier today, I went to get a filling at the dentist. They gave me a shot to numb it and asked if I wanted to stay down or sit up while it kicked in. I said sit up. Mistake. I knew perfectly well that I was fine, and the shot was over, but I had the same experience as Gandolfos. My body just thinks it is funny. They came after a while and noticed that I was struggling to stay conscious and they laid me back down. Turns out they didn't give me enough stuff, and they had to give me another couple of shots.
Tooth mark on my head. Yesterday some friends from the ward invited me to a makeshift FHE since our ward wasn't having one. It was a great time, but when we were all done and people almost all gone, there were still brownies left. In an effort to get them gone, we agreed to each eat part of the left overs. Kristina, who was cutting them, decided to stuff each portion into its respective mouth. Luckily I had already eaten my portion and didn't have to worry about that. I was wrong. She tried to force more into my mouth and my reaction was to swing my head away. Unfortunately, her head was in the way and my forehead hit her mouth. Now I have a nice tooth wide cut above one eyebrow, and she luckily didn't lose any teeth, although I think it shook her up more than me.
I hope you've enjoyed these episodes from life. I'm sure there'll be more.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dream Vacation


If you were to find a list of all of the dream vacations in the world, you'd most likely find quite a variety of destinations. Obvious ones might include Hawaii, Europe, Disneyland and the like. Last weekend I was introduced to a new idea in that category. I was introduced to the Misty River Resort. I'll be honest, I had to do a double take when I saw the word resort on the sign at the entrance because I couldn't see anything but weeds as we drove through the gate. I should have realized, though, that they weren't just whistlin' dixie down there when I saw the quality hand-painted sign on the finest grade of plywood around. So, we made our way through a jungle of texas-size weeds until we came to an oasis of lean-to's complimented by a full-service facility that included a store and big bathrooms. When the lights worked and when you could justify flushing the toilet (they were on a septic system) the full-service facility was pretty nice. Well, I forgot about the fact that you couldn't close the door to one of the bathrooms, but hey, a what's a dream vacation without a little entertainment? It turns out that there was a natural lazy river that circled through the campsite and the lean-to's were really high quality.
Alright, I'll take my tongue out of my cheek and quit wasting your time. I just really want to know why they chose the word "resort." It's a campground in the middle of nowhere.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Sometimes, you just can't win...


Last week, I went with my family to Cedar City to enjoy some theatre (I must be sophisticated if I switched up the "er"). It was a splendid experience, and so refreshing to take in some entertainment that was uplifting, witty, intelligent and thought provoking. I don't think any of those four things occur in our regular diet of entertainment on a regular basis. But I'm not here to write about that...
One morning, holding to our Shakespeare Festival tradition, we went to Denny's for breakfast. I've heard the gag about how President Obama went to Denny's and, upon coming out, lowered his goals for the American people, but I don't have a problem with it. I rather enjoy the food, and don't have anything against it or the people who go there... especially since I'm one of them. But again, I digress.
The waitress, who was married (I have to check those things because I have to be ready to point out her ring when my parents jokingly suggest I should get her number) told us of a special where if you get a juice, you get a ticket and you scratch off the little thing, and you're guaranteed to win something. I was down for that because I never win anything, and I thought it would be fun, even though I understood that it would undoubtedly be something small. So, we all got juices, and all got tickets. When we were done with the meal, the waitress brought out our tickets. Gradually everyone scratched theirs off, all winning something like pancake puppies (they look like doughnut holes) or a free drink or something like that. I was one a free cup of coffee... I was the only one in the family to win a free cup of coffee. At least I won something, right? No. That's dumb.