Morning Moment

The leaves were on the tail end of the death process. Those that had fallen lie en masse, and as a car brushed by their place of rest, they came to life and chased it like dogs. Something about the morning air said that death holds no wieght -- even in winter. The breath of life seemed to rush into me; breathing was like drinking. I looked to the side, and light shown through the gate to paradise, and the extra color it produced was evidence that rebirth is a daily event.

Of Men

I received after one of the previous posts, a request for some of my thoughts on men. In general there is one rule: the two kinds of people on the earth are (1) smart people, who are eccentric, and (2) boys, who are stupid.
Unfortunately, starting at a young age, boys compete for stupidity rights. Ever heard of a dare? Do you ever hear girls daring each other to sip something through their noses? It doesn't happen.
Some have commented on the fact that boys get over stuff quicker than girls do. Want to know why? Boys can't remember what they ate for breakfast let alone a contentious conversation from the day before.
The logic of nature is really screwed up. As one lady put it, men come out of the womb wanting to be the ones to carry the club and go slay the dinosaurs. Why are the clubs in the hands of the stupid people?
Ever wondered why girls plan weddings? From a young age I was told that when I'm engaged and planning a wedding, I can give my opinion, but the girl has the final say. Isn't that nice of them to let me give my opinion? I've figured out why boys don't make those decisions, they can't handle making something as nice of a wedding materialize. Take decorating for an example. Boys use all these posters and stuff they think are cool, and then they put it all together, and it always turns out poorly.
In closing, I offer thanks to women for making something nice out of what us men have to offer. To use a traditional and maybe stereotypical example, men bring home a dead animal, and women somehow know how to make it into something nice. We offer them our rough unfinished selves, and they help us become something presentable. Thank heaven for women.

Observations of an almost only boy

This entry is an explanation by my roommate who claims to have women's communication all figured out.
Note: This is not a reflection of the host's opinions or viewpoints.

It's easier to talk about how women don't communicate, than to talk about how they do communicate. The rule of thumb is: Do everything but say what you mean. They get frustrated when, after giving hints to a guy, the guy won't leave them alone. When they do say something it's usually not what they mean. That's true pretty much true across the board. I guess there's some exceptions but the readers should not consider themselves those. Females dig circumlocution. It's so "cloak and dagger." They might say to someone "oh, you look so cute today" but that actually means, "your actually not cute" "I'm jealous" "I'm saying that because you are cute, but I'm still cuter than you are", or they say it because they don't know what to say, or sometimes it is sincere. So when someone says that there is a 25% chance of it being genuine. Another rule of thumb: If you can't say it in the superlative, don't say it. There is a specific list of vocab. words and phrases that you need to know because they mean the opposite of what Webster says. Examples: "fine" "I'll take 5 minutes""Nothing" (always means something) "that's okay" "whatever" (is an insult). Talking is cathartic. There is rarely a logical justification to talk. When a girl asks a question, she doesn't want an answer, she wants you to ask it back, viz. "How are you?" "How was your day?" "How are you feeling"
Jordan admits that these are generalizations, but he says not really.

This is Shawn speaking again. I take no responsibility for what Jordan said. I only hope it was humorous for you to some degree because it was humorous listening to him tell me how the world works.

Up next (by request) observations concerning men

OOAOB 2 (Observations of an only boy)

Different people get excited about different things. I understand that. I admittedly am one of simple pleasures. However, I've noticed a consistency in the oddity of things that excite females. My discovery budded as a young boy at a family gathering surrounded by my mother, sisters and aunts who were having the most animated discussion about... eye lashes. I understand and acknowledge the fact that conversations can take unexpected turns and lead you into strange place, but it usually leads to a dead end. As I sat there amid increasing volume and speed of speach, I realized why all the men were in the other room. On one hand there's no way they could have contributed to the conversation, and on the other hand... eye lashes?!