Swine Flu

So the world has been amuck in the swine flu as of late. At work, when I read the papers, there is mention of pigs all over the place. This has caused me to think of two things. The first is to ask what the difference is between an epidemic and a pandemic. The answer is that an epidemic just spreads quickly outside of it's regular locality. A pandemic is a worldwide epidemic.

The second thought I've had is how the swine flu is simple proof of my feeling that pigs are only good for bacon. My road to this conclusion came through the ownership of my own pig. When I was in high school, I walked into seminary one day, and my teacher, who was moving and knew that I worked at a ranch, asked if I wanted his pig. The only though that went through my adolescent head was, "it would be funny to say I have a pig." So I agreed to get it, and my mom and I went and picked it up. That was the beginning of an era of regret. We tried letting it co-habitate with the dogs. It intimidated the dogs to the degree that they just avoided it. So we gave it it's own place. It was mean to us. It got out a number of times (it's name was Sophie) and the only benefit I got from it was using it for funny things like dropping it (in a dog cage) on a friends doorstep as a birthday prank, and stuff like that. I think someone suggested that we set it loose in the woods and dress up like indians and hunt it with bows and arrows. We never did. Mostly, we just took it the left overs, and waited... The wait finally ended one day in the winter when I realized that Sophie wasn't moving. I took a stick and tried to get a reaction out of her, but to no avail. I walked into my house and said rather non-chalantly, "Mom, what do you do with a dead pig?" She responded equally apathetically, "I don't know. I'll call someone." And that was the end of Sophie, the pot-bellie pig--also know as the Shawn's folly. Pigs are good for nothing but bacon.

Sunshine on a cloudy day...

Here's an ode to awesome people who reflect sunshine and add a little topping to the daily dose of provincial vanilla.

Here's an ode to my sisters, Chantelle and Mackenzie, who came to my work and delivered a mint and cookies and said "We "mint" to tell you to not go "cookie" during finals. The best part was when I walked out of my building to meet them and they were standing in the parking lot with giddy smiles that could be seen from a mile away. The couldn't say it without laughing.

Here's an ode to Whitney, who left a boxful of lucky charms on my doorstep this morning so that I couldn't fail my finals. She sent me a text telling me to make sure that I went out my front door when I left. So, I went and checked my doorstep and there was nothing there. So I looked around the apartment, and I couldn't see anything. So, right when I was going to text her and congratulate her on a giant fake out, and noticed that one of my roommates had put them on the stairs. True to character, I didn't read the sign as I walked down the stairs.


Here's an ode to the old man that I saw on the side of the street who's sunshine came in the form of old manness. I didn't stop to talk, but I'm pretty sure his name was Walter, and he was the inventor of sliced bread. Despite what anyone says, we all know that there is still nothing better than sliced bread. Thanks Walter!

Help Me Persuade Jordan

This entry is for everyone who knows Jordan Crook to help me persuade him to do something that he doesn't want to do, but that would be so, so, so funny. I, and others, have decided that one of the funniest things that could happen at the ward variety show this Friday is for Jordan to get up and talk about himself. He's worried about this being egotistical and whatever. Please comment on this post and help me help him understand how funny this would be, and that he should actually do it.