Class Members

Here are some people that can be found in most classes. It's probably not new to you, but hopefully it's truth will produce some humor.


MIA's

FIrst we start with a moment of silence for those who are missing in action. They may be the people who translate to the corpses in group projects (see previous post), but not necessarily. Some of these people are very bright, and have positioned themselves conveniently under the radar, so as to avoid any negative teacher-student interactions. They've decided to avoid those interactions because they've observed the WHBTP's.

WHBTP's

These are the Would Have Been Teacher's Pets. They are such because if they opened their mouths that much with constructive, beneficial input, class would be a celestial learning experience. Unfortunately, most of what comes out is complaints about quizzes and tests, and contrary remarks about ideas and concepts. These are the people who, when they raise their hand, or just start speaking, you feel a little pain in your stomach and you want to say (in as nice a way as possible), "You don't have to say anything this time. It's okay." Some of the people saying those things include the Mutterers.

The Mutterers

The Mutterers are the people who say what everyone else is thinking under their breath, whenever the WHBTP's say something. These people are most enjoyed by those who are sitting very close to them and can hear the comments the Mutterers say under their breath. These are usually the people surfing the Internet on their laptops during class.

The Professionals

The Professionals are the people who seem like they came back to school from the workplace. They generally stay quiet, but you get the sense that it's more because everything being said is old news to them. They kind of make other people in room seem like freshmen.

The Brown Nosers

The Brown Nosers would like to be the professionals, but they're just not. They make lots of comments that go above and beyond the given question, tying in concepts and subjects they've learned elsewhere in the program or class. They also like to refer to their scarce experience in their bid to seem professional. They are very excited about student clubs and are with the "in" crowd of the program. They make the professionals smile.

There may be more, but can't think of anymore right now. This will have to suffice for the present.

Group Member Stereotypes

I realized today that groups for school projects are never dull, and I needed to write a blog about them.
In every group, there are the same people. Okay, some groups might be missing a certain person, but I really think it's possible to classify possible group members into a few categories. Here are some of those categories:

The Corpse

The Corpse is someone whose body is there, but their spirit and brain isn't. I'm sure when their body is united with those elements, they are wonderful people, but when they are in a group, they die sitting up. I realize that some people are more quiet than others, but you can tell if someone is dead by throwing them some bait and seeing if they react to it. For instance, after having almost completed the project, and after everyone else in the group has volunteered to do something, you may throw out a comment like, "Well, you've done this, and you've done this (mentioning everyone in the group but that person). Who wants to take this?" Everyone waits for a minute to see if the person is alive, because everyone realizes that person might not have a pulse. When the corpse fails to stir, you will probably hear from the Overachiever.

The Overachiever

The Overachiever is a good person to have in the group. They make everyone else's load easier by volunteering to do way more than their share. This is perfect for the average student who wants a good grade without spending lots of time. However, the Overachiever should be received with caution. While they may be workhorses, they are also misdirected juggernauts. They should not be allowed to make many decisions or do to much of the thinking. For some reason, the Overachiever is blessed with a unique brain that is very different than everyone else's in the group. They are the ones who either make the meetings last way too long because they get stuck on unimportant details that have no effect on your grade or suggest drastically changing the paper/presentation the day before it's due because they, "don't think we quite covered it." Their motivation is partly driven by competition because if anyone in the group were to find out about what other groups are doing and suggest we change to "be more competitive," it would be them.

The Worthless Voice of Reason

The Worthless Voice of Reason is usually a guy who isn't the most intelligent, but realizes that the Overachiever is talking nonsense, and he, as much or more than everyone else, does not want the project to be anymore work than it needs to be. When he speaks up to counter the Overachiever, his suggestions are hardly ever constructive and his logic is usually lacking, but everyone in the group realizes the frailty of the speech, but don't condemn it since he is a generally amiable guy and, while they want a good grade, they don't want a lot of work either.



The Valid Voice of Reason

This person is the one who ends up standing up to the Overachiever when they start getting out of control. If there is any palpable tension in the group, it is a result of these two--the protagonist Voice of Reason fighting off the evil Overachiever. Everyone else in the group usually watches; silently grateful that they don't have to do the dirty work. The Valid Voice of Reason doesn't want to hurt any feelings, so they try to disagree without being disagreeable, but are not about go off into the Overachiever's mists of darkness.

I won't spend time describing the others because they are usually more observers and contributers who are willing to do what's asked of them and don't say much unless asked. That's a little harder to make interesting.

Stay tuned for the next post about class members.